Armor of God PJs, submitted by Hellbilly. The seventh seal has been torn open and the vial poured out. The sky and earth have been rent asunder. The oceans and streams have curdled with blood. Howling monstrosities swoop from the skies and scrabble at the windows with hooked claws. This is The End, my friend. We're all doomed! Unless...we had some way to defend our children at night...
In the event that the Beast emerges from beneath your children's beds at night, the Armor of God PJs will protect them! The gibbering mass of Leviathan will no doubt be driven back into the abyss by the word "FAITH" stitched onto a plush shield. If having "RIGHTEOUSNESS" emblazoned on your children's chests doesn't strike fear into the fetid heart of hate then nothing can.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
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