Adult Star Diary, submitted by Kalvano.
Adult Star Diary is Livejournal for porn stars. About two dozen of them have signed up and they have their own little friends lists and blogs. First off, don't get your hopes up about the site being erotic. There are some naked photos of each of the members, but their blogs are wastelands of erotica. I've seen more sex talk on the website for a funeral home.
The women are, rather predictably, a mixture of vapid harlots and damaged goods. One girl is obsessed with Everquest, another is really into psychic healing and crystals. The majority seem to use the site as nothing more than a promotion tool for their events. A few, like the aforementioned crystal chick, are quite prolific. A good example of the average girl on the site is Mercedes Summers. Her blog is like a really boring soap opera in which she describes fights with her fiance - a guy who is still married to his "ex"-wife - and arguments they have had over how to train their puppy.
8am.. we wake up.. hes happy and dancing.. then piss's a RIVER.. then plays I feed him breakfest. then he goes and craps. plays and craps.. then plays and CRAPS.. 3 craps in the morning!!!.. so I know he can hold IT.. but I dont wanna rely on that. Cause one time I woke up at 7:30 when I heard him walking I seen he pissed SO much it ran out of the paper, and all the way across the kitchen floor. YEY. not his fault. He wasnt in trouble. he usually plays and so on intel 10am
10am sleeps intel about 12. noon. wakes up piss's.. plays and shit!.. working on training
2pm-sleeps intel 3pm.. play but no pee or shit. works on the training
3pm-6-7pm.. we walk him, work the crap out of him. train him again. craps and pees.
9pm-plays, pees and eat intel 10pm.
10pm-4:30 am pee (sometimes) almost sleeps the night. Or sleeps right intel 7:30am.
Mercedes is probably at the smart end of the spectrum. I guess you don't need no book learnin' when everything you need to know comes out of a dick.
The real star attraction at Adult Star Diary, the girl who gives the site its magic, is Taylor Rain. Taylor Rain is either the stupidest human being able to breath under their own power, or she's an ingenious creation of her ex-husband and "writer", Mark Feyner.
HAD A WICKED PISSA CHAT LAST NIGHT!!!
I HAD A FUCKIN BLAST MAKIN POT BROWNIES ON MY LIVE CHAT!!!! I HAD A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THERE CUZ THE LAST TWO HOURS WE LET PEOPLE GO ON THERE FOR FREE!!!!!!!! THEY JUST WANTED ME TO SUCK DICK BUT I WAS A WORKIN GIRL IN THE KITCHEN!!! WHEN I TOOK A SMOKE BREAK. IT WASNT REALLY A BREAK CUZ THEY ALL WANTED ME TO BE IS A WHORE AND SPREAD MY LEGS LIKE A WHORE!!! FUCK IT!!! ANYWAYS, I MADE 4 TRAYS OF POT BROWNIES AND THEY GET YOU FUCKIN FADED!!! I'M HYPED!!! I HAD A GREAT TIME AND I CAN'T WAIT TIL NEXT WEEK!!! GOTTA GO CUZ I'M GOIN TO THE SPA FOR A MASSAGE AND TO CHILL OUT AND RELAX FROM MY ROUGH WEEK!!!!
She loves her capslock key, or at least hit it once and then forgot it existed. I've compiled some surprising facts about Taylor Rain from reading all of her diary entries. You should read them all too.
- Owns pitbulls! - "'PUT YOUR DOGS ON A LEASH!' SOME BITCH YELLED AT US. 'FUCK YOU! MY PITBULLS ARE THE BEST! YOUR DOG SUCKS!'
- Loves drugs, but not all drugs! - "POINT IS DON'T TAKE STACKERS! SMOKE POT!!!"
- Can sometimes be forgetful! - "I THOUGHT IT WAS AT 4:20PM JUST LIKE LAST WED. ANYWAYS, MY BAD!!!"
- Got pregnant and had a miscarriage two weeks later! - "SHIT HAPPENS AND YOU HAVE NO WAY IN CONTOLLING SOME THINGS."
- May be slightly racist or worse, a Mencia fan! - "WASHIN THE TRUCK LIKE A BEENER!!!"
- Quite handy around the kitchen! - "I AM MAKING HER SOME MUDSLIDES, STEAKS, CORN, AND SOMETHING ELSE AND A CUMCUBER DRINK!!"
If Taylor Rain is real and not some marketing creation, then she is pretty much the ultimate porn star and I think I love her. Unfortunately, she's too stupid to be true.
The Remains of Bidet (James Ivory, 1993)
We might find we have more in common than we think if we just stop fighting long enough to combine our bodies into a singular organism.
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