Family Auto Mart, submitted by ForumGoer. Two fat guys scream, dance, make asses of themselves, and attempt to sell cars. Yes, these guys are for real, and their dealerships really exist. Personally, I wouldn’t fell comfortable buying chewing gum from these guys, let alone an automobile.Nothing says "high moral standards and integrity" like a fat guy in a coconut bra.
Basically, this guy started his own car dealership, did a couple of “funny” commercials, and now has multiple dealerships and an entire public access show dedicated to selling cars and providing Florida with its required quota of fat jokes.
The Family Man, in his wisdom, knew that his funny antics on television were getting so many people to talk about the business that he began "The Family Auto Mart Show", which is known by many as "The most exciting half-hour on Television!" Instead of sprinkling the Family Auto Mart name in 30-second increments, he began to purchase 30 MINUTES of TV airtime. He would show all of his 30 Second commercials along with other skits and one line rhymes. He produced a 6 minute segment and aired it 5 times to make it a half-hour show. This started the cult like following that exists today. Many people in the Central Florida area that stay up at night would be flipping through the channels and come across this "wacky" show. And the response was phenomenal. People would watch, not because they needed a car, but because it was truly entertaining local television.
A true American success story! Anyways, the pictures of the fat guys dancing around are amusing and all, but what makes this site special is its disturbing audio clips. For example, go to their Virtual Showroom page and check out the bottom nav bar. Turn up the volume of the speakers and drag your mouse over one of the options. Scary, huh? Now rapidly drag your mouse from right to left, again and again, over the entire bottom navbar. The result is an incredibly disturbing, ear-splittingly spectacular audio collage of overweight car dealers screaming in sweet, sweet, harmony. This is what the life is all about!
Also, there’s some MP3’s of their “Fat Man Dance,” but disappointingly… they aren’t awful! Truthfully, it contains probably the best fat white boy rapping I’ve ever heard in my entire life. Maybe I will buy my next car from these psychos after all!
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
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