"Prof, submitted by Trevor. Looking for some shoddy, embarrassing, laughably horrible website design that not only looks like shit but also costs $350 PER PAGE to design? Well look no further, as Mavens2 combines the most horrible graphic design with the most horrible HTML writing to come up with such stellar sites as this:

Steve Guttenberg's Official Web Site: Steve played leading roles in most of these films: "Police Academy", "Boys From Brazil", "3 Men And A Baby", "3 Men And A Little Lady," "The Big Green", "Cocoon", "Cocoon, The Return", "Diner", "Something For Joey", "Zeus And Roxanne", "Bedroom Window", "Short Circuit", and many more. We designed his official web site:

Yes, their claim to fame is designing Steve Guttenberg's official site. However, that's not the most insane part of this page. Take a look at their pricing:

Each basic page: $350: Includes links to other pages, several of your graphics, graphic editing to make them "web suitable." Graphic buttons (from our collection) instead of text links at no extra charge. Minimum job is 2 pages.

Frames $200 extra per website.

Order or response form web page: $400 each

Promotional Banners $150 each.

$250: Create and optimize appropriate META tags that are within the guidelines of the major search engines and suggest needed revisions to the text of the main page of a website. This same service is available for each additional page for $150 per page.

Without periodic attention, due to constant competition and changing rules of the search engines, the quality of the listings on the search engines tends to decay. Top 10 positions can drop to 20, 30, 50 or even lower. To counteract this problem the pages will need to be upgraded, edited and re-submitted to the search engines. Our minimum monthly maintenance fee is $350.

After reading the pricing scheme for such utterly worthless crap, the immediate phrase that springs to mind is, "HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA." I need to get in on this web design racket, it sure beats selling crack. $350 PER PAGE. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA, Jesus.

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@lowtax)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.