Tephlon Coating, submitted by Ben. Pudgy goth-metal guitarist rants about hating Pizza Hut and takes photos of himself in the woods looking like a cross between a retarded mime and some sort of deep sea eel. A really dumb and angry deep sea eel. The site itself is a repulsive frames layout prominently featuring a rapidly blinking image of what appears to be a viking warrior.
In case you didn't know, I work at Pizza Hut. And everybody that Orders the Twisted Crust, while tasty and good, and I suggest you try it...PISSES ME OFF! What happens when we run out of dough you inconsiderate motherfuckers?! huh?! we're FUCKED! Then you bitch about how you're pizza is late, but oh no, you couldn't order one of the 40 extra medium pans we had! You HAD to order a goddamn Twisted Crust on a Friday night like Everyone else!
So to summarize what he said for you:
This is one of the funniest sites I have ever read; I just wish he had written some tortured goth poetry about the Twisted Crust pizza from Pizza Hut. Unfortunately, all his "lyrics" are about the usual lame goth crap like Satan and black tear drops and unicorns or whatever those fruity shits are singing about these days. On the up side he has a guest book you can sign so you can let him know that you sympathize with his "Twisted Crust pain" and "being laughed at in locker room" agony.
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
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