Vanguard News Network, submitted by R-Lo. The moment I took a dive into this site I knew it was getting added to my bookmarks. The Vanguard News Network provides "uncensored" news. My definition of the word must be a bit off, because it seems to me that they accuse Jews and Jazzbos (as they mysteriously refer to African-Americans at times) of some incredible secret manipulation of society as they comment on items in the news. However, there is a definite upside to the hate-filled rhetoric spewed out by the Vanguard News Network; they review movies.

Jurassic Park III has only one negro (who is eaten early in the film), and makes no reference to racial issues (none that I could see, and I was REALLY looking). However, it was executive-produced by Steven SPIELBERG, who, like his tribal brothers, has a specific and harmful agenda.

Don't bother seeing Jurassic Park III. It just isn't a very good movie. Instead, get a book about dinosaurs from the library, and read it with your kids. It'll be more fun, less expensive, and in the end, better for them.

That's right folks, head to your local library and pick up a copy of "The Kid's Big Book of Dinosaurs That Weren't Discovered By Filthy Yids". I don't know, the more of these movie reviews I read the more I believe these guys are just overeducated pretentious film scholars. Not every movie has to be a Bergman masterpiece you assholes, sometimes people like to just sit back and watch some crazy Jew puppets fight it out with a T-Rex.

Hey, let them know how much you appreciate their opinion.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.