LaTiNcAnDyGrL, submitted by SilentP3. This candy is not sweet at all. But the site has got a groovin' latin beat for you to dance to! Hooray! It's got cursor trails and animated gifs and annoying fucking slang and the list goes on with the rage stimulators featured on this trash bin.
hey peepz i wanna tank yooh all fo comin 2 mai beautiful payge (i jess knoe u gonna luv it)........b sure 2 go 2 all of da following linkz.........and if yooh could b a sweet heart and sign my guess book i would really really appreciate it.........o yea, n another thing, if u tink der iz anyting i could do 2 improve my payge pleez pleez tell me! or if der is anyting u tink i should add also tell me ok? n juss in case yooh dont knoe ma email address iz firstname.lastname@example.org ok? ok! well im out! bai
That is without a doubt the most coherent thing on the site. Try reading the "Shoutoutz" section. I can understand the ones in Spanish better than the ones that are in slangy alt-caps typing run-on crap sentences. Here, here is an example:
HeY GirL, WeLL yO 15 iSh CoMiN uP N i WiSh yOoH ThE BesT oF LuCk oN ThaT DaY, i MiGhT Go i sTyLL DoNt kNo BuT EiThEr WaY iM GiViN yOoH SoMeTiN sO DoNt eVeN TriP! yOoH sOoN 2 Be MiLLiOnArE! i HaTe YoOh! yOoH BeTTa ShArE Tha WeaLTh GrL! WeLL TaKe CaRE!
Blood pressure rising! Need to shoot death beams from eyes at random 15 year old girls rising! Only kidding FBI, I don't have death beams, just regular old surgical lasers.
PS - Sign her guestbook and be creative you fucking chowderheads.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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