Brad Montgomery, submitted by Me. I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm pretty sure Brad Montgomery will never win Entertainer of the Year honors in any publication outside of his own email newsletter. You see, Brad offers "Freshly Brewed Corporate Entertainment & Keynotes." And as we all know "corporate entertainment" is right up there with "pleasant gunshot wound." It's an oxymoron, you see. Hmm, good thing I'm not up for Entertainer of the Year, I've got some work to do!
If you want a speaker who is both inspirational and Very Funny, and if you want to hear the cry that meeting planners love to hear... 'Hey Down in Front!'... just book Brad. Because people learn best when they are laughing. Because they need content. Because they need to have fun while they learn. And because... 'Hey, This Guy is Funny!'
From conference rooms to banquet rooms, Brad's programs are built just for your audience with gobs of audience participation, hey-how'd-he-do-that magic, and Clean, Boy-next-door humor. When Brad steps up on stage and says 'Watch Closely,' he brings you back to the moment and helps make your lives more magical.
Yes, Brad will make clever references to YOUR COMPANY in his act. For example, when he entertained at Arby's corporate HQ, he called the CEO a "Beef and Bacon Buffoon!" They were in stitches! And when he yanked the penny from behind the HR lady's ear? Hee-larious!
Brad can transform middle-aged corporate hags into frisky, nubile teenage sluts! Brad tells clean jokes like "looks like somebody baked too many cookies!" His hairline magically recedes as his act goes on, and on, and on, condemning the captive audience to hours of unbridled, pure, and intense misery! Threaten to bring him back again if corporate goals aren't met and watch productivity soar to record levels!
By the way, if you want to view the video preview, the password is "laugh." I actually managed to guess the password on the first try, but I know nobody's going to believe that since you can just glance at the source code and figure it out that way. I tried to watch the video, but as soon as I got to the part with him jumping around like Steve Ballmer to bad 80's music in a purple suit, I realized that I'd rather stick my face in a trash compactor than try to watch the whole ten minutes. Here's a magic trick for you, Mr. Montgomery: disappear! Haha! Just a little Clean, Boy-next-door humor for you, which is far more than you deserve!
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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