Suburban Goth, submitted by Sean. It's nice to see the goth community expanding its horizons. It used to be that you'd only see teenagers in suburbs as goths. Now there are housewives! Hooray! The woman who made the page "Suburban Goth" is just your average mother. She does yardwork, takes care of her kids, and PRAYS TO THE DARK LORD SUCCUBUS, TAKE MY ETERNAL SOUL TO DO AS YOU WILL. She's like the Blondie of the gothic community, living with her dark, evil husband Daggerwood.
Dressing consistantly in black flowing clothing in a middle class, new suburban neighborhood gives one that giddy and pretentious feeling of being the "outsider", like when you were the first in high school to shave the sides of your head and spray the rest into a teased gravity defying mess.
Wow, apparently Goths CAN do something useful: manual labor! I say we petition congress to repeal the emancipation proclamation and allow the enslavement of goths. Well either that or we fucking hit each and every one of them with whiskey bottles.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
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