Sunrise Computer Services, submitted by R-Lo. Do you need a web page designed in a hurry? Don't care about text placement, functionality, aesthetics or readability? What was that, money is no object? Well Sunrise Computer Services has the solutions to your web design needs. This "talented" bunch of go-getters know that quick and haphazard design is exactly what you're looking for and you've got the big-bucks to pay for it.
Traditional Web Site
$300/screen (minimum 3)
Quantity Discount Packages:
10+ Screeens: 10% discount
20+ Screens: 20% discount
30+ Screens: 30% discount
40+ Screens: 40% discount
Scrolling Text Marquis $250
Response Forms $350+
Secure Credit Card Order Form or Credit App $350
Those prices can't be beat without going to a fortune 500 marketing company and asking for a deluxe package! They're out of this world. Crazy SCS discount Al says everything must go!!! Tonight only if you order 50+ Screen web site you will receive a 50% discount; only $7500 dollars! Want to add a Marquis[sic]? The price jumps to a mere 7750! These deals cannot be beat without involving the dark lord Satan himself! And the quality! We will embed midi, make "great" looping flash animations, or use a Java reflection applet at NO EXTRA COST TO YOU!!! How do we do it? Because we work quickly and carelessly!!!
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.