Fruit Labels, submitted by William. Speaking of fruity fruit farmers, here's "the web's first fruit label site." Quite the boast! There are thousands of hot fruit label pics on this site, all with detailed descriptions such as:

Text: Sur Agricola COSECHA PROPIA PRODUCIDO EN ESPAÑA
Fruit: watermelon
Colours: {orange,white} on dark-blue
Shape: oval:landscape
Dimensions: 49.7mm wide x 30.0mm high
Backing: paper
Acquired: May 2000

Why collect fruit labels?

Fruit label collecting must surely rank as one the healthiest hobbies, just as long as you actually eat the fruit… As for the labels themselves, they are rather like postage stamps with words, numbers and pictures in various attractive colours. I wonder whether some standardised form of description, akin to heraldic blazon, will gradually emerge.

Gosh, do we dare dream?

This site contains over 200 pages of impeccably researched, detailed descriptions of pieces of paper that are smeared on produce from foreign lands by disease ridden third-world children. Before you know it, there'll be some sort of grading service for fruit labels and Gem Mint 10 1977 Dole Rookie fruit labels will be sold for $399.99 on Shop At Home. There's a lot of useless stuff on the Internet already, scanning in the thousands of fruit labels you've accumulated during the dateless fifty years of your life and sharing them with the world just isn't necessary. Please collect something useful, like scalps.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.