Conventional wisdom holds that attractive females could easily coax sexual favors from any available man, and many unavailable men as well. George "Vampire Lord" Kistner III isn't so optimistic about their prospects. His Web site suggests good-looking women are so desperate for cunnilingus that they'll gratefully photo-audition for the chance to be pleasured by a scrawny goth felon. "We can consider my admiring your naked body to be my payment for services rendered if you feel uncomfortable about getting something for nothing," George generously offers on his "Terms and Regulations" page. It's unclear if anyone has accepted his proposal -- his guestbook signees use dubious names like "Ashley Olson" and link to nonexistent MySpace pages -- but if it works, expect a flood of disciples following in his ladykilling footsteps, not only by launching GIF-packed sites, but also by committing armed robbery, becoming Wiccan Priests, collecting Transformers and getting sweet "Burning Sigil of Baphomet" tattoos.
Russian President Vladimir Putin has sworn to personally investigate the murder of opposition leader Boris Nemtsov. In fact, Putin plans to use his expertise to solve most major crimes.
Finding the right hat can feel like walking through a minefield for guys. Did a murderer wear your hat? Was it ruined by bros? Are you just an idiot? Find out with our authoritative ranking of bad hats.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.