Real infants are messy and expensive, so it's only natural that more and more people are opting for lifelike substitutes crafted from goat's hair, glass beads, and, ambiguously, "baby fat." Also, with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button garnering such acclaim, movie fans would obviously want to embrace the elderly-child craze.
For example, this wee lad boasts the ruddy complexion and brawling posture of a full-grown drunken Irishman.
And this dignified fellow seems like part of a collection that places the heads of popes on miniature bodies.
Only real baby-lovers would perpetuate the splotchy "retarded baby pig" stage of newborn development rather than skipping ahead to the "cute phase," like so many superficial doll manufacturers and consumers.
Unlike real kids, these sturdy models can be stored in boxes, or left in the yard to be gnawed by marauding rabbits. Such conveniences, when combined with their convincing appearance and inarguable cost-efficiency, make it inevitable that the world will eventually be repopulated with Reborn Dolls, a solution that will briefly solve all society's woes before leading directly to the species' extinction.
A broadcasting legend pleads with the world of the living.
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.