Real infants are messy and expensive, so it's only natural that more and more people are opting for lifelike substitutes crafted from goat's hair, glass beads, and, ambiguously, "baby fat." Also, with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button garnering such acclaim, movie fans would obviously want to embrace the elderly-child craze.
For example, this wee lad boasts the ruddy complexion and brawling posture of a full-grown drunken Irishman.
And this dignified fellow seems like part of a collection that places the heads of popes on miniature bodies.
Only real baby-lovers would perpetuate the splotchy "retarded baby pig" stage of newborn development rather than skipping ahead to the "cute phase," like so many superficial doll manufacturers and consumers.
Unlike real kids, these sturdy models can be stored in boxes, or left in the yard to be gnawed by marauding rabbits. Such conveniences, when combined with their convincing appearance and inarguable cost-efficiency, make it inevitable that the world will eventually be repopulated with Reborn Dolls, a solution that will briefly solve all society's woes before leading directly to the species' extinction.
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.