Spending a couple bucks on bottled water instead of drinking from the tap might be seen as mildly ostentatious. However, paying $40 for bottled water bedazzled with the word "Bling" qualifies as completely fucking retarded. On its Web site, Bling explains why consumers should shell out extra money for its ridiculous product: "It's couture water that makes an announcement like a Rolls Royce Phantom... Bling H20 is pop culture in a bottle." It's difficult to imagine pop culture tasting like anything but raw sewage, especially as embodied by "celebrities" such as Paris Hilton (who gives Bling to her paparrazzi and her dog) and Jamie Foxx (who endorses Bling to thank the beverage's "Hollywood writer/producer" creator Kevin G. Boyd for his hilarious contributions to Jamie Foxx Show episodes such as "I'll Do It My Dammy.com.") For the price, Bling should function as a magical elixir, so perhaps it will heal the user's cranial gashes in the likely case that someone snatches his bottle and uses it as a frosted-glass bludgeon.
Someone told TIME magazine about trolling and now we all just have to deal with it.
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.