Submitted by David N.
My favorite part was the minute of silence that is thoughtfully included at the end of this video so that you can contemplate your existence and your place in the universe after watching this masterpiece. Personally, I spent the first 30 seconds of it on existential contemplation and the last 30 on trying to remember where I left my hacksaw so that I can saw my own dick off and beat myself to death with it.
I am too beautiful, too fragile to exist in a reality that also houses this video.
Okay, well, that about does it for another goddamn edition of AwfulVision! Thanks to all the jerk-asses that submitted videos this week! You all made my list and I will see to it that each and every one of you pays for your crimes against decency.
If you'd also like to be personally murdered to death by yours truly, you can submit an article here along with your home address and what sort of bullet you'd like lodged in your spinal cord. Huzzah!
See you jerks next time!
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!