Submitted by yours truly
Noted Redditor and subhuman filth Violentacrez was recently outed by Gawker as the pedophile piece of shit he is and lost his job over it. For those not in the know, Violentacrez modded r/Jailbait as well as other such charming subreddits as:
He also claims to have had sexual relations with his own stepdaughter. Also, he's a fat, ugly, middle-aged fuck up who's defense for all of the aforementioned is, essentially, that he was trying to look cool to the other Redditors.
Therefor, on behalf of internet users everywhere, I'd like to send Violentacrez off by saying "Get cancer and die, you stupid, disgusting cocksucker."
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!