What a cute girl th- WAIT, THAT'S NOT A GIRL! THAT'S NOT MILK!!

Grandma Slimecrotch sticks it out for everyone to see! Nice smile you've got there Thong Kong.

Little Johnny Simmons is what Appleton City likes to call "special" and what I like to call a flaming heap of loopy dog puke. Here you can see him mounting a rock bear out at the city park shortly before I mounted him on a 3-inch diameter lead pipe.

You might be surprised to learn that these two happy dickloafs drive Taxi cabs. On the other hand, the Appleton City police might be surprised to learn that their bodies are slowly decomposing in a creek bed not a mile from my house. I had nothing to do with them ending up there, that's just where the current carried them.

This sweaty sperm merchant comes bearing gifts of disease! I fed him a hockey puck with the business end of my golf club and applied for a goddamn federal grant for performance art.

A shirtless goth outside during the day? If the sun doesn't make him catch fire I'm sure my 100 proof whiskey and a book of matches can.