What now, you ask? Well hopefully you will have already planned out your uses for the monster. If not, here's a handy list of popular choices:
1. Terrorise the neighbourhood.
2. Exact revenge upon those scientists who said you were mad.
3. Write scripts for Seinfeld.
4. Get the lid off that jar of pickles.
For me, however, I plan to use his superior strength and low intelligence to mow my lawns and paint the house. He will become my slave, answering to my every whim. I can feed him table scraps and potato peelings and force him to live under the stairs like a reject from the ramblings of JK Rowling. But without the hot Hermione action, I can assure you.
That's right, he will...What? No, stay back!
I created you! You can't kill ME!Curse my weak, nerd-like strength.
Hey, what are you doing with my trousers?
What are you doing with YOUR trousers!?Noooooooo!
Hahahah, thanks again to SA Goon Gromit for his incredible work. See ya'll next week!
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.