What now, you ask? Well hopefully you will have already planned out your uses for the monster. If not, here's a handy list of popular choices:
1. Terrorise the neighbourhood.
2. Exact revenge upon those scientists who said you were mad.
3. Write scripts for Seinfeld.
4. Get the lid off that jar of pickles.
For me, however, I plan to use his superior strength and low intelligence to mow my lawns and paint the house. He will become my slave, answering to my every whim. I can feed him table scraps and potato peelings and force him to live under the stairs like a reject from the ramblings of JK Rowling. But without the hot Hermione action, I can assure you.
That's right, he will...What? No, stay back!
I created you! You can't kill ME!Curse my weak, nerd-like strength.
Hey, what are you doing with my trousers?
What are you doing with YOUR trousers!?Noooooooo!
Hahahah, thanks again to SA Goon Gromit for his incredible work. See ya'll next week!
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.