Here's a safety tip: make sure you keep flammable material away from your experimental apparatus. As you can imagine, those high voltages can play havoc with your soft furnishings if you're not careful. Luckily I have some extinguishers lying around for just this sort of thing. I find the best place to get them from is high-rise or government buildings. If you put on a pair of overalls and carry a clipboard you can pretty much take whatever you want.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.