According to the acceptance speeches at this year's Oscars, there is a war going on. It should therefore be the duty of every man, woman and dog to prepare for battle. Thankfully, our forum goons created a few animated instructions on how to best prepare for the harsh realities that come with living in times of war, based on this boring guide. Use the following images to motivate yourself until you feel ready to cause unspeakable harm to anyone who dares hail from a country other than your own.

angry_keebler feels the pain caused by war every day, after his Xbox 360 red-ringed during a game of Call Of Duty 4.

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.