steve343 has a big future in the exciting world of designing images for commercials selling cold and flu remedies.

I gave up trying to write a caption for The Picnic Scene's two contributions because I can't stop looking at the following jumping text.

Witness the strategic game of human chess that is modern warfare, courtesy of WhenQTipsAttack.

Zenzirouj finishes up this week's Goldmine with the slickest moves I've seen outside of a Lionel Ritchie music video.

Now you are ready to go to war. Be sure to tell your president where you learned to fight when he comes knocking on your door looking for new recruits. You should also make sure to thank the millions of forum goons who sacrificed their lives for this article so that future generations could live in peace. Next week's Goldmine will come live from Guantanamo Bay, which I'm assured is a lovely little vacation hotspot just south of Cancun. Bring along your sunblock and join me next Tuesday for more fun in the sun with the Comedy Goldmine!

– Craig "Russ" Russell

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.