The Yellow Yell was thrown out of the opera for trying to start a "USA! USA!" chant.
I don't know what UPSET GAMMY would do if he ever lost his mentor, Jake "The Snake" Roberts.
Vile Monad reached the final interview stage for the role of Federal Breast Inspector but a poor reference from a former employer cost him the job.
Vince Wolfjaw rubs every lamp he sees in the hope of finding a genie to grant him three wishes.
That's all for this week! I want to thank all of the folks in FYAD who helped give me some great ideas on how I should expand my t-shirt collection. To appeal to the Latino demographic, next week's Comedy Goldmine will be an exact replica of this article but translated into Spanish. Adios for now, muchachos!
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.