The Yellow Yell was thrown out of the opera for trying to start a "USA! USA!" chant.

I don't know what UPSET GAMMY would do if he ever lost his mentor, Jake "The Snake" Roberts.

Vile Monad reached the final interview stage for the role of Federal Breast Inspector but a poor reference from a former employer cost him the job.

Vince Wolfjaw rubs every lamp he sees in the hope of finding a genie to grant him three wishes.

That's all for this week! I want to thank all of the folks in FYAD who helped give me some great ideas on how I should expand my t-shirt collection. To appeal to the Latino demographic, next week's Comedy Goldmine will be an exact replica of this article but translated into Spanish. Adios for now, muchachos!

– Craig "Russ" Russell

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