Pirates have long been a boon for the advertising industry. Who could forget the delightful Captain Crunch, or the villainous Long John Silver, or the filthy wife beater, the Gorton's Fisherman? Pirates send a powerful message to people, which is to avoid scurvy. Apparently, it also carries a second, secret message to buy the product they're shilling. This advertising technique is best evidenced by the most in your face pirate mascot of all, Captain Morgan. He tears back the pages of the magazine you're reading, just to show you what a great time you would be having if you were drunk. Well, drunk and attractive. Any mascot that's willing to ruin MY magazine is cool by me, but unfortunately the advertisements don't really show the true fun of Spiced Rum. Thankfully, the Forum Goons decided to change that. Check it out, G!
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.