Hey Something Awful fans, and welcome to the new section of the site - The Goldmine. We have a lot of people that read this site, but what many of them don't know is that, aside from the main page, there's a wealth of comedy gold to be found on our forums. So from now on, to put a spotlight on the beauty of the Awful Forums and the thousands of goons within, we're going to be posting highlights from our archives. Coincidentally, our archives are called "The Goldmine," so it works out! Hope you guys enjoy. And if you do, why not register and account? This stuff is only a small sample of what the forums have to offer. It's truly the lost city of gold! Wait, no, that's El Dorado.

Anyhow, for the first topic, I chose a thread started by forum member "egg." Sick and tired of not finding what we truly need in stores, he took matters into his own hands. With wacky results*!

*Results may vary.

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