Hey Something Awful fans, and welcome to the new section of the site - The Goldmine. We have a lot of people that read this site, but what many of them don't know is that, aside from the main page, there's a wealth of comedy gold to be found on our forums. So from now on, to put a spotlight on the beauty of the Awful Forums and the thousands of goons within, we're going to be posting highlights from our archives. Coincidentally, our archives are called "The Goldmine," so it works out! Hope you guys enjoy. And if you do, why not register and account? This stuff is only a small sample of what the forums have to offer. It's truly the lost city of gold! Wait, no, that's El Dorado.
Anyhow, for the first topic, I chose a thread started by forum member "egg." Sick and tired of not finding what we truly need in stores, he took matters into his own hands. With wacky results*!
*Results may vary.
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Pros: Much more comfortable than my last toilet seat, which was a transparent resin with seashells embedded inside. The outer layer wore off from friction, exposing the sharp jagged edges of the seashells, which were constantly scrapping my backside and causing major cuts and open sores.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.