When forum Goon HHHH started this week's Goldmine thread, I was a bit confused. Christmas? In September? But then I realized that at this time of the year every marketplace is full of Christmas crap. Including that hula hooping Santa. Who buys that shit?

Either way, the pure absurdity of the thread meant it had to be used. Please enjoy this week's Comedy Goldmine, "Christmas in Middle Earth."




Axel Serenity



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    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

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    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

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