Thanks to Wombot for this picture.Thanks to Wombot for this picture.

XyZeR has unsheathed his mighty katana and is ready to show you what five years of studying The Matrix Reloaded can do.

There are simply no more signs that I can fit into this article, due to government legislation on excessive use of triangles. Thanks a bunch to my loyal army of forum goons, who would go to any lengths to MS Paint anything I so desire. Next week's Comedy Goldmine will be full of delicious recipes for Cajun cooking, so tell grandma and all her pals to look out for it!

– Craig "Russ" Russell

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.