Hey buddy, when we fight, there's only going to be 2 hits...

social vegan

the high five and low five to our secret handshake we use when we need a pick me up

BIRDCON 2017

you hitting me and me hitting the reset button because you're just button mashing ted it's not fucking fair!!

Takane

My hitting one key then a second as I valiantly slay you in the world of war craft

posting smiling

me hitting up wikipedia to correct you about which tng episode had the- and you hitting me hard in the face, stunning me into defeated silence

social vegan

us hitting the club and us hitting each other's backs lightly while we hug it out after a long night of resolving our problems without resorting to violence

i am he

pieces of shit like you hitting my plate for breakfast and my breakfast hitting the spot

Android Blues

you hitting me, and then you hitting me again, killing my dust-fragile body instantly

I Was The Fury

Me hitting the 9, me hitting the 1, then you slapping the phone out of my hand because getting served burnt macaroni isn't worth calling emergency services.

Historical Wizards

Me hitting the bottle because I feel really guilty, and me hitting my knee on my nightstand after hitting the bottle too hard.

social vegan

Me hitting the dance floor and Will Smith's Gettin Jiggy Wit It

Grey Knight

Me hittin' the road and then gently hitting the brakes when I see a good place for lunch.

City of Glompton

the two hits in this fight are the smell from my scent glands hitting your nose and the sound of your feet hitting the floor when you run away as quickly as possible.

I Was The Fury

Hit 1: your voice hitting a higher decibel level
Hit 2: my tears hitting the ground because yelling scares me

Gatekeeper

me hittin post and your jaw hittin the floor

Piso Mojado

when we fight, there's only going to be 2 hits. you hitting my face, and the memory hitting you several years from now, in a moment of self realization and maturity, where you feel embarrassed we couldn't resolve our dispute in a more civil way.

– David "g0m" Dolan (@g0m)

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The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

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