Why do these humans lie in their food?
Oh well, may as well eat the blue thing.
Unable to consume entire blue object.
Reporting offensive smell emanating from armpits. Requesting guidance.
Scout around the current location! The best invader is a well-informed invader.
Scouting has revealed another room occupied by strange devices attached to the wall.
Gaze into the reflective object
Another human sighted!
He'll discover you!! Hit him!
Silence him by whatever means necessary!
The human appears to have fled. There is a red liquid leaking out of my hand. Reporting extreme pain.
Objects sighted behind human.
You're obviously some sort of jelly-filled pastry. Consume the filling, you must conserve strength reserves.
Examine the curtained area, maybe it's a repair center.
Paste consumed, metallic in taste.
Upon investigating the curtained area, I have discovered a water dispenser.
Forget Target or Best Buy, if you want deals this Black Friday you can't do better than smoking massive, mind-melting quantities of DMT.
A reluctant family is forced to welcome a non-human participant to Thanksgiving dinner.
You cant go around life being smart in an unconventional way, it could change the world.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.