Why do these humans lie in their food?
Oh well, may as well eat the blue thing.
Unable to consume entire blue object.
Reporting offensive smell emanating from armpits. Requesting guidance.
Scout around the current location! The best invader is a well-informed invader.
Scouting has revealed another room occupied by strange devices attached to the wall.
Gaze into the reflective object
Another human sighted!
He'll discover you!! Hit him!
Silence him by whatever means necessary!
The human appears to have fled. There is a red liquid leaking out of my hand. Reporting extreme pain.
Objects sighted behind human.
You're obviously some sort of jelly-filled pastry. Consume the filling, you must conserve strength reserves.
Examine the curtained area, maybe it's a repair center.
Paste consumed, metallic in taste.
Upon investigating the curtained area, I have discovered a water dispenser.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.