Hello, folks, it's Mayor Wilkins again with another turgid Goldmine for you to dig into. This week is extra-special because, like always, I waited until the very last minute to work on this thing. I spent my entire weekend drinking and being funny for everyone else, and now you get the tossed-away hungover humor scraps. Congratulations! Then again, most of you have hangovers after Memorial Day anyway, and some of you probably woke up in a strange house, in a bed with a man or a woman who resembles a sideshow attraction, so you're probably not feeling particularly demanding at the moment. I'm going to take advantage of that and ramble my way into today's Goldmine.
Today's feature is a pretty simple concept. Forum member THEINHKO set forth a little theory something or whatever:
"Lights! Camera! Act-WHAT THE FUCK?!
I got this idea watching Orgazmo where they bring in the black Stunt Cock.
What if Directors of block buster movies said "Alright, fuck it", like Maxxx Orbison did? Well, it's up to the single creative hive-mind of the dozens of people we have here to find out!"
Then everyone did what the people on the forums tend to do when people ask them questions, which is to talk about silly shit instead of actually creating actual contributions. But then one or two people made some pictures, and things went just wonderfully from there on out.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.