This week the SA Goons pose a question as immortal as vampires themselves: What Is Dracula Holding? This topic dates back to the 15th century, when the usual reply ("a decapitated head about to be impaled on a pike") chilled questioners to the bone! Understandably, people stopped asking for hundreds of years, but recently Werebear Stare, emboldened by the vampire/werecreatures peace accord of Twilight Movie 2012, dared to query his forums peers.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
Photoshop Phriday showcases the tremendous image manipulation talents of the Something Awful Forum Goons. Each week they tackle a new theme, parodying movies, video games, comics, history, and anything else you can think of. If you want in on the action, join us on the Something Awful Forums!