In this sophisticated era of modern online communication, people don't have as much exposure to spam e-mails. For the purposes of this intro, I opened my Gmail spam folder for the first time in months, and it contains nothing but ridiculous claims and nonsense phrases, such as "God Sent Me To You," "Our Hidden Gem Alert is Inside," "Knife Party EP Out Today" and "Get The New Blockbuster iOS app!" Speaking of hidden gems, forums member 72o and his SA Goon peers put on their miner's caps and sifted through quarantined messages for artistic inspiration!

expensive jeans

PicklePants

Stottie Kyek

Leelee

Painful Dart Bomb

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.