Dr.Perkins had just had his prized door installed in his office, which was located on the second floor of the Herpetarium at the top of the red-carpeted stairs. The door was so big; they had to enlarge the doorway to fit it in. But they made it fit and Marlin was proud.

The King Cobra was still missing and everyone was looking for it. The keepers figured that since it was cold-blooded, it would need to stay warm. The warmest place in the building was the basement, so that's where they concentrated their efforts.

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    We Are Ready to Announce That Grimace is Human

    It's true. Grimace is human. God help us, we did our best for him.

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.