About this time, there was a major disaster in the Herpetarium. Some bonehead left the back hatch to the King Cobra open, and it escaped. This was NOT good.
The keepers came in the next morning and noticed this right away. They sent out an alert and immediately shut down the Snake House.
Meanwhile, at another area of the Zoo, there stood old Luther. Luther was and old security guard who was horribly afraid of snakes. Nothing else scared him but snakes. But this particular day, they were short-handed plus Luther was ranking officer, so the new head of security radioed him to report to the Snake House. Luther obeyed.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.