In the past we have covered some of the multi-volume series of Gamer's Handbooks for TSR's 1984 Marvel Super Heroes. These book are basically the Monster Manuals of the Marvel universe. In addition to the main series, TSR released updates with even more heroes and villains. This week we look back on the 1989 update and some of the weirdest super teams in the book.
Steve: Atom bombs to rage shreds. The Hulk really puts a pair of blue jeans through the paces.
Zack: Do you think there has ever been an incident in the real world where somebody was lifting weights or something and they became so pumped their clothes burst at the seams?
Steve: Isn't that why crazy pumped up dudes wear Gold's Gym tank tops and those baggy zebra stripe pants?
Zack: Hulk demand Zubaz.
Steve: If I were the Hulk I would try to get my pants and shirt off as I felt my rage coming on.
Zack: Hulk HATE tuxedo AAAAAUUGH WHY HULK WEAR CUMMERBUND???
Steve: So what are we doing here?
Zack: I had a look through this book before we started and I think we need to have a discussion of terrible super teams.
Steve: West Coast Avengers?
Zack: You wish. I'm talking teams where they came up with a concept and then made up a bunch of heroes to fill it out. Super teams that appeared in one comic or maybe one short series.
Steve: Really not the West Coast Avengers?
Zack: You're going to be wishing these teams had a fake Iron Man.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.