So they took the cobra out of the refrigerator and held it up by its neck. One of them then ran a long piece of wire down its throat.
They coiled him up as realistically as possible. Then they put him in the huge container of liquid nitrogen that they kept in the kitchen. It was used for freezing sperm. Anyway, they left it in there just long enough to turn it into a statue. Then they walked out and placed it upstairs, directly in front of Perkin's new door. Dr.Perkins had 2 small spotlights installed to show off his door, and the two keepers thought these two lights would be perfect for exposing the snake to Luther.They no sooner get the snake set up than old Luther comes up the hallway. The lights are low in the Snake House since it was closed, so the 2 keepers run and hide. Luther clocks in and starts making his rounds. They said he was walking right in the middle of the aisle, totally away from in front of the glass-fronted cages. As Luther came down the main corridor, he turned towards Perkin's office. He looks up the staircase right into the eyes of the cobra. They said for split second he froze. Then the unthinkable happened.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.