The next day we came in to a nightmare. There was a mother and her baby dead in the yard. All the other flyers were petrified and had plastered themselves up against the far wall. They were pressed so hard against the wall that the public couldn't even see them from up top. It was pitiful.
Not only were they afraid of the two dead bodies, but something had terrified them. Imagine 30 kangaroos all set back on their tails just staring straight ahead. We'd walk up to them and pet them trying to calm them down and they would just scoot over and stand up again, against the wall.
The males in the other yard were unharmed, but they were extremely agitated. Though they couldn't see over the 8 foot wall, they could sense something was wrong. They no doubt HEARD what happened.
We checked with security right away and they told us that two wild stray dogs had been spotted on the grounds around 11:30pm the previous night. They had spent the night looking for them but with no luck. Now we knew why. Apparently, the two dogs had hopped down into the female kangaroo yard. This immediately started the mob to hopping about. When they get scared, there is neither rhyme nor reason to their movement, they just scurry. But they can jump extremely high in doing so, so it amounts to total chaos. This no doubt caused the dogs to get even more excited, and soon all hell broke loose. This is how the two roos got killed.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
Do you remember the crazy clothes and hair of the 1990s? Do you remember Crystal Pepsi and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Do you remember where you hid the box your mother gave you?
Were you enjoying your day? STOP! There is outrageous crap going on you need to know about!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.