It's been a while since we've had a CYOA in the Comedy Goldmine. Luckily, Borden has come to the rescue, with a story about one man doing whatever it takes to achieve his heart's desire. A story that gets NSFW from page 5 on, by the by, so be warned!
> make cape out of the blanket
Give Pat a Job
Vote for Trump
> Dress for Success
> ride the X-jet and shoot roman candles at bicyclists
Eat candy to get your energy up.
have a sensible breakfast because voting needs a lot of energy. check your fridge!
Levi Johnston finally comes clean about his involvement in the Weinstein scandal and details a disgusting incident that required a green screen.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? The manager's been following me around since the moment I set hoof in this place.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.