It's been a while since we've had a CYOA in the Comedy Goldmine. Luckily, Borden has come to the rescue, with a story about one man doing whatever it takes to achieve his heart's desire. A story that gets NSFW from page 5 on, by the by, so be warned!

Borden

Hogge Wild

> make cape out of the blanket

symbolic

>eat pillow

Give Pat a Job

Vote for Trump

Borden

Dinosaurmageddon

> Dress for Success

Borden

bobthedinosaur

> ride the X-jet and shoot roman candles at bicyclists

Applewhite

Eat candy to get your energy up.

guidoanselmi

have a sensible breakfast because voting needs a lot of energy. check your fridge!

Borden

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.

  • DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG

    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

About This Column

The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.

Previous Articles

Suggested Articles

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful