Daily Dirt ALMOST THE SUPER BOWL GO COLTS
This update...
Didn't come out exactly how I wanted it to. I guess I did succeed with my first goal, which was to write something shorter than I usually do. I'm still in the "I just got this done" phase so I'm still not sure if it's funny or not. I guess we will see what happens!
The Pregame Wrapup Super Bowl special will run a week from today (Feb. 4). I was going to do a front page on it (and I still might, depending on what Maxnmona's doing), but I figured if I have a sports column I might as well use it for the biggest sporting event in the US, and then on the day it's happening. It should give me more time to collect material to make fun of, too.
Finally, thanks to Microwave for the drawing at the end.
Speaking of the Super Bowl
Go Colts! I'm really happy to see one of "my teams" make it to a championship game and I can't wait to watch them play the Bears. I know the Colts are favored to win and all, but honestly, a team that's lost to the Texans should never be the one you bet on. I'm guessing it's going to boil down to who screws up worse, Manning or Grossman.
And to whoever it was who emailed and asked, no, I've not watched any sports coverage on ESPN since the game. I read Web sites and sports pages but I'll be ignoring TV media until after the "hurrr Peyton Manning is in a lot of commercials hurrr Rex Grossman is inconsistent hurrr I get paid $50,000 a year to be more boring and predictable than the church channel" crap is over. That's the way I roll, bitch.
Speaking of Pregame Wrapup
The next one will feature some honest impressions on the big Pacers trade and probably a new Crybaby Bitch of the Week. The three of you that read should be sure and tell your friends! Maybe we can crack ten pageviews this week!
I liked this picture so much I'm ending this with it, too

This Week on Something Awful...
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The Top Ten Albums of 2009...
Garbage Day
...in the soon-to-be-published opinions of other critics, most of whom are wrong.
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Improper Ganda!
Photoshop Phriday
Propaganda! Don't believe what you see, don't believe what you read.
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LEVI SAYS RELAX
Johnston Checks In
Levi Johnston responds to more of Sarah Palin's attacks as his alter ego, Ricky Hollywood.
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Burrito!! Doritos!! Fiesta!! Antipasto!!
AwfulVision
This week: a video so bad, not even Glenn Danzig can save it. Abandon all hope, ye who enter.

Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.