Pork Tales: Salty Tears

I want to thank my sister Renee from making the awesome Jasper pictures. If you would like let her know how much you like them, here is her e-mail.
People keep writing me asking why I hardly update anymore. Look, I don’t know how much clearer I can make this for you. We are through. I ended it in January and there is no chance of reconciliation at this point. Sure, we had our good times. Playing footsie at Applebee’s, climbing that banana tree, summers in Rome. But those times are over, you have to stop dwelling on the past and move on.
Don’t play fey with me. I know you have been seeing other writers like Pantsfish, Maxnmona, Acetone, Bobservo, and Docevil. You dirty slut.
I’m sorry I didn’t mean that. I don’t want this to get more messy than it already is. Let’s just be friends, okay?
This Week on Something Awful...
-
The Wishmaster's Valentines
The Flash Tub
The Wishmaster grants some Valentines Day wishes with SURPRISE TWISTS.
-
Safe House; The Vow; Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace; Shame; A Dangerous Method
Current Releases
No-one is safe, except for you. Safe from bad movies that is, thanks to our life-saving reviews.
-
How To Make Someone Cry
Features / Articles
Maybe if I wore a cape and ran around someone's living room they'd start weeping violently.
-
Historical Figure Hats / British Judge Wigs!
Photoshop Phriday
Hats? On people?! Wigs? On judges?! Whatever, weirdos.
-
Aliens Unlimited: Galaxy Guide (1997)
WTF, D&D!?
Steve and Zack encounter unknown creatures in Palladium's guide to Aliens Unlimited.
