Comic SWAT
Oracle
Appearing In: X-Men
Thanks: Cecotroph
Zack: I'm pretty sure I had Oracle as a non-slip sticker in the bottom of the shower at my last apartment. She had better get those torso lesions looked at, though. Get some antibiotic on that.
Dr. Thorpe: This is what a Troll doll looks like when it's all grown up.
Zack: Fashion Tip #54: When your outfit doesn't need a belt but your hips need some help, try tying a sheet around your waist. No one will notice that it makes no sense.
Dr. Thorpe: Wearing one bootcuff popped up makes you look like a total gangsta.
Zack: I like her matching gloves, too. It's like she's a space mom ready to do some fucking space dishes. She belongs in the space kitchen.
Dr. Thorpe: It's the only proper place for a space woman. Well, the kitchen and getting George out of whatever crazy contraption he's stuck in this time.
Zack: Maybe she is Adam Warlock's mom. Still sort of smiling and blissfully unaware of her son's confectionary suicide message writ large in chocolate chunk across the glittering tapestry of stars.
Dr. Thorpe: She's standing in the doorway to his room, her hands on her hips, ready to lecture him about stealing her spoons. But where is he?
Zack: There is a lump in his bed, I'll just give him a goodnight space kiss, but oh...what's this, it's just space pillows and a wig head. Where is my son?!
Dr. Thorpe: She shall be forever alone with her regrets and her son's legacy of gigantic cookies.
Zack: Oracle's powers are probably space cleaning and cooking nutritious meals like space pea casserole and space meat loaf. According to Adam Warlock they are probably "nagging" "riding [his] ass" and "not getting off [his] case"
Dr. Thorpe: She also must have quite a capacity for hair-teasing. Her gigantic do and Adam's gorgeous pompadour are not accidents.
Zack: Who knows what mysteries of hair science these futurions have mastered?
