Retro SWAT 2
Dr. Thorpe: This guy's playing it cool despite the fact that he's about to get executed by firing squad.
Zack: This is an exact copy of a Marlboro ad. If that pose can sell something as bad as cigarettes it should be easy to sell something as good as a cotton moleskin zipper suit!
Dr. Thorpe: He looks like he just fell out of Easy Rider and is looking around trying to assess his situation.
Zack: (chest wig sold separately)
Dr. Thorpe: "Where am I? Where's Fonda? Where's my hawg? Shhiit."
Zack: "How do I get out of this damned cave? I knew I should have worn one of those miner hats but the color just clashed with my moleskin zipper suit"
Dr. Thorpe: "Better just stand here and smoke 'til I die. Lord knows I ain't gettin' any cleaner."
Zack: "At least I have plenty of pockets in case I find any diamonds or treasure maps"
Dr. Thorpe: He's not going to give up until he finds the chastity belt that he's got the key to on his neck. It probably belongs to a plump gap-toothed Mexican maiden.
Zack: The yellow rose of ciudad. "I knew I shouldn't have trusted Haspel Jones. He catches wind of a Nazi plot and he leaves his hirelings to die in a god-forsaken Aztec tomb."
Dr. Thorpe: You know, another direction we could go with this guy is that he's just sort of a recalcitrant and unprofessional model. He shows up at the shoot without taking a shower. They try to get him to pose, but he just unzips his shirt and smokes. "Yeah, what can I say, I'm a terrible model. There it is. Ain't like there's a fuckin' manual." I love this guy, imagine him talking like Kris Kristofferson.
Zack: "It ain't like opening a bottle of wine."
Dr. Thorpe: "Can't buy a fuckin' robot to model your clothes for ya."
Zack: "Look at all these pockets. Who came up with this, some sort of homo paratrooper? All I need is one for my cigarettes and one for my wallet. When do I get paid?"
Dr. Thorpe: "Nah, fuck you, I ain't standin' by that car. I'm leanin' on this fuckin' wall and havin' me a fuckin' smoke and I don't give two shits if I get your fancy clothes all dirty, you Hollywood queers."
Zack: "There had better be some goddamn bourbon and raw meat over on the craft services table."
Dr. Thorpe: "My goddamn son Tad stands by cars all day in his powder-blue queer suit, but I ain't havin that shit. This place is squaresville, I'm cuttin' loose."
Zack: "Hair and makeup, my ass. The last time a woman touched my hair was when she was picking pieces of a windshield out of it."
Dr. Thorpe: "See this chest hair? I got this from eating rabbits I caught with my own two goddamn hands, not from sittin around all day in a fuckin' nineteen-twenties style loft doin' crossword puzzles and gettin' involved in queer orgies."
