I believe it was around the watercooler one morning where Dr. David Thorpe, "Friendly" Greg Pollock, and I decided to buy a CB radio and spend our workday breaks riding the ionosphere with some grizzled old roadfolk. The office we work at is only a few hundred yards from Highway 101 in San Jose, which constantly has heavy truck traffic, so the whole idea made a little too much sense. Excited to enter a new world of talking to trucker folk, being delighted by their stories, possibly being threatened with violence, and let's face it-- maybe even sleeping with one of them-- we headed out to the electronics store to grab a unit.

The handheld piece of shit we settled on in the store turned out to pick up nothing but static so we took the thing back the same day, but the spirit lives on. Maybe when one of us gets up the nerve to waste even more money we'll get the full-blast car setup complete with a magnetic antenna for the top of one of our economy cars, but for now we're just preparing mentally. Thanks to the magic of Google Docs' multiplayer spreadsheet functionality, we were able to come up with a list of 300+ potential CB radio handles you're encouraged to adopt and use to delight everyone in your convoy or village.

It should also be noted that a perfectly good list of fantastic names for dogs already exists courtesy of Joshua "Livestock" Boruff and company. Most or all of the names on his list would work fantastically for this purpose too, so you're really looking at something like 500+ names for truckers, dogs, babies, you name it.

Boomer Bullfrog Survivor Scooter Slick Needlenose Sidewinder Blackbeard Loveboat Porky Party Ass Piano Man Redline Torque Chopper Rick Musket Heckler Roadhouse Jimmy Dean Mollusk Boss Diamondback Log Boy Kuffs Ten Pounder Chugwolf Socrates No-No Switchblade Steamer Nuggets Homo Freeworld Motherboard Big Dusty Little Dusty Mudking Yellowjacket Hale Bopp No Neck Burly Grillmaster Def Jam Haymaker Whipsaw Tits Mungous Chewbacca Slim Up North Coyote (pronounced KY-oat) Blue Chips Mork From Ork Tumbleweed Rude Bwai Toddler Roughhouse Shit List Mighty Sore Boiler Eyesore Roulette Wildman Le Mans Jawbone Whiteball Whiskey Nip Struggler Horndog Dogpile Piledog Handsome Keith Rhubarb Moonbaby Code Red Baby Corn Shepherd Beastmaster Wolftoucher Daddy-O Jean Jacket Stiff Arm Wiseguy Sugarshorts Biscuit Flatlander Hind Quarters Pigfoot Trouble Truck Nutz Big Rack The Toolman Cavedog Short Stack Wizard The Roller Bird Dog Thinker Hooker Godfather The Pretzel Dashboard Yukon Gold Crackshot Fingers Primer Whistler No-Toes Sawblade The Sexy Elf Bird of Prey Trenchfoot Falcon Cleft Sherbet Mocha Seabird Outboard Seawolf Mad Cat DDT The French Tickler Papercut T-Top Short Leg The Stork Precious Wild Child Chopper Methuselah Stinger Coupon Speedball Octo Squirt Augustus Oops! All Barry Cherry Wine Hubcap Gargoyle Cheese Horn The Guru Tenderfoot Nighthawk Blackbird Pipewrench The Professor Icebox Snake Barnburner Type 2 Rambler Whiteboots Driftwood Flounder Stubblechest Humpy Trogg

Adonis Truth The Math Man Toadshark King Lear K-Bone Nugroaster Prometheus Taterbug Fantasy Two-Thirds Nelson Baby New Year Giggler Wellwater Dogbender Great Dane Happy Camper Dirtbike Bingo Magnetic North Ticketmaster Dumpling Gumshoe Teapot Scuttlebutt The Rooster Bungler Dart Firecracker 9-Volt Road Tiger Howler The Gremlin Fantastic Pete Tumbler Red Catfish Other Tony Tank Horseplay Guesthouse Winker Tatochip Beandip Tommy Ninefingers The Juggler Big Time Cyberspace Peepaw Jake Fogelnest Hooter Cooter Pooter Flanksteak Sandalwood Nighttime Formula Joey Cuervo Knock-Knock Black Beavis Hondo Oxblood Nuke It Pale Rider Landbird Rugboy Dirtpit Schoolyard Skynyrd Tommy Toga Casino Racehorse Chop Shop Admiral Junkpile The Alarmist The Natural Good Old Roy Due South Silverback Vanagon Yard Sale Pitboss Goose Egg Porno Jock Itch Legman French Scoob Staplegun Stallion Mile-a-Minute Sleeper Peach Pit Cheesesteak Beefhinge Big Loaf The Noid Miracle Man Tops Banknote Backslider Jordache Critter Quarter Note The Yodeler Squeaker Ironsides Douglet Tron Tall Order Cosmic Hell's Bells Codebreaker Naugahyde Babylegs Slippery Jim Flatbread Queso Meatus Banjo Yankee Tangy Ranch Hand Bungalow Fencepost Rumbler Bannister Hoagie Dadgum Magnum Mangum Wheelbarrow Shadow Manticore Magnet Fang Esquire Clockwork Ragdoll Ripple Wingnut Bubbly Shellgame Tingler Curls Wishful Thinkin' Pubert Cue Ball Man-o-War Jazz Bone Dogbed Seatbreaker Towelripper Bloodweiser Texas Toast Wetlook Sexy

@arr and @weedguy420boner contributed their expert knowledge of the road to this list.

- Jon "@fart" Hendren (@fart)