Choose Your Own Adventure: Quest for Mtn Dew

The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.

• Tell me how to fix my 3ds
• Awful Survivor: Sports Argument Stadium: No, poker is still not a sport.
• My brother is the dumbest asshole ever
• Planetary Annihilation - RTS Taken to an amazing new level.
• Can someone tell me about LBJ?
• Coping with/supporting a depressed partner
• Well of course I use the n-word: An exploration of butter
• My house mate isn't paying rent