Where?Hot Pockets? Check.
Milky Way bars? Check.
Emergency Toilet? Check.
Mountain Dew? Mountain Dew? Mountain Dew? It should be right here between the milk and the orange juice. You check the lower shelves of the fridge and pull out the drawers at the bottom that you never use but assume they're for vegetables. Nope. Nothing.
You go to ask mom what happened to your Mountain Dew reserves, and on the way you see your sister and a few of her friends out the window. Between them sits the two liter. You want to confront her, but decide to tell on her instead. You carefully explain to your mother that you have a WoW raid coming up in less than an hour, that there is a large challenge ahead of you, that you are like a machine and you need your fuel. She offers you a can of her Tab--it'll give you the same energy with half the bad ingredients. She just doesn't get it. You check the clock and see the time between now and your raid quickly ticking away. You don't have very much time.
A broadcasting legend pleads with the world of the living.
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
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