Where?Hot Pockets? Check.
Milky Way bars? Check.
Emergency Toilet? Check.
Mountain Dew? Mountain Dew? Mountain Dew? It should be right here between the milk and the orange juice. You check the lower shelves of the fridge and pull out the drawers at the bottom that you never use but assume they're for vegetables. Nope. Nothing.
You go to ask mom what happened to your Mountain Dew reserves, and on the way you see your sister and a few of her friends out the window. Between them sits the two liter. You want to confront her, but decide to tell on her instead. You carefully explain to your mother that you have a WoW raid coming up in less than an hour, that there is a large challenge ahead of you, that you are like a machine and you need your fuel. She offers you a can of her Tab--it'll give you the same energy with half the bad ingredients. She just doesn't get it. You check the clock and see the time between now and your raid quickly ticking away. You don't have very much time.
Do all of your holiday shopping in the Star Citizen online store! We have great deals on space ships for a game that may not be released for years. Think of these as investments in your future enjoyment.
The first phase of The Olive Garden's cyber rollout will introduce their Neverending Pneumatic Pasta Tube. This works on the same principal as bank drive-thru deposit tubes, but with unfrozen linguini and spaghetti.
It's still okay to like Ben Stiller, guys.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.