Nature SucksNo, you think. I won't do anything for a soda. You walk out and the sun blinds you. As your eyes adjust, the rays splash against your body, and you feel the temperature raising. When you can see again, the trees seem somehow greener, the sky bluer, and the world in its entirety somehow more alive. It seems like everything is possible right now.
"The world sucks." You say, kicking a rock. Without your soda, you do a shitty job during your raid, but as you stare at the computer screen for seven hours, you realize that at least you're happy.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
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