The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Aptitude Test
Small child, what is your favorite activity?
- A. Leading.
- B. Doing machines.
- C. Being crude, but cool.
- D. Overeating while abusing household pets.
You find a wallet in the street. Do you:
- A. Take it to the local constabulary.
- B. Assemble a small, marketable robot for the purpose of returning it to your local constabulary.
- C. Crack wise about the status of missing wallet(e.g. "Now that's what I call losing your money;" possibly something far less clever).
- D. Use contents of wallet on burgeoning drug habit; place wallet under tongue in anticipation of expected overdose.
What is your worst quality?
- A. Inability to follow.
- B. Preoccupation with machinery, gears; cog-based hobbies.
- C. Well timed situation-based puns.
- D. Closets upon closets of Hawaiian shirts. Also, coming out of blackouts guilty of murder.
What is your favorite food?
- A. Pizza.
- B. Pizza.
- C. Pizza.
- D. Pizza-style bagel foodlets.
If you could talk to anyone in the world, who would it be?
- A. God, or the man who invented Sears.
- B. The one, the only: Mr. Eddie Deezen.
- C. Star Search finalist Dave "Uncle Joey" Coulier.
- D. Whoever owned the mailbox I befouled last night- I left my wallet inside your cat and I need it back, bro.