MLB 2K7 Patch Notes For April 2
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Hello again, sports fans! Pregame Wrapup is back after yet another hiatus! It was hard being away from you readers - at one point Lowtax asked us how we had five different grandparents die over the course of few months - but our wily charms held the boss at bay.
In honor of a fresh MLB season we've been given an exclusive look at upcoming patch notes for MLB 2K7. Unlike those fake things CTS and Abraham do, they're 100% real. We promise. Get ready to learn about videogame baseball, because Pregame Wrapup is here! |
Arizona Diamondbacks
- Team bio no longer lists Steve Nash as franchise player.
- Texture count in Randy Johnson's face increased by 40 percent.
Atlanta Braves
- Removed "free sterilization with purchase of 32 oz. Mountain Dew" banner from outfield wall.
- Players no longer have to go out and turn the antenna to get better reception on the Jumbotron.
- Fixed glitch that caused pitcher to hit Chipper Jones in the face no matter where the reticule was aimed.
Baltimore Orioles
- Properly filled out "30th team (???) - LOOK INTO THIS" box on team select screen.
- Announcers no longer say "what's Steve McNair's spine doing on the field" during broken bat sequences.
Boston Red Sox
- Hideki Okajima no longer appears on the mound in a puff of pink smoke and cherry blossom petals, and a gong noise no longer plays when he gives up a home run.
- "Big Head" cheat no longer turns all players into Manny Ramirez.
- Fixed glitch that allowed Willie Mo Pena to hit right-handed pitches.
- Sox vs. Yankees games no longer cause announcer to say "and now, the game ESPN won't shut the fuck up about..."
Chicago Cubs
- Removed Jumbotron cartoon of a fat white man dumping a sack full of money into a toilet.
- Reduced probability of all starters suffering season-ending injuries on opening day to 98 percent.
- New stat column allows players in franchise mode to see exactly how much each Alfonso Soriano strikeout cost them.
Chicago White Sox
- Tutorial mode narrator no longer claims fast runners are "quicker than an Ozzie Guillen backpedal."
Cincinnati Reds
- Fixed processing glitch that caused lockups when Ken Griffey Jr. made a hit during an important game.
- Light bloom effects muted to ensure Brandon Phillps' teeth do not white out the whole screen.
- Josh Hamilton no longer stops to snort line chalk on the way back to the dugout.
- Hecklers no longer shout "you goin' catch a shank, nigga" at white people on opposing teams.
- Bronson Arroyo no longer becomes visibly aroused at the mention of his own name.
Cleveland Indians
- "Summon Spirit Buffalo" spell now only castable when rally-cap is enabled
- Trot Nixon's walk back to the dugout after hitting into a double play no longer referred to as "the trail of tears."
- New sarcasm slider allows players to avoid announcer saying "A mediocre Ohio team promising they'll get to the playoffs this year? You don't say."
Colorado Rockies
- Manager no longer screams "what will we do when Todd Helton retires" in between violent sobs.
- Pressing up after hitting a home run causes now causes the ghost of John Elway to pop up and shout "Toasty!"
Detroit Tigers
- Special wrist strap ensures players do not throw controller at television when announcer refers to a fastball as a "Kenny Rogers roaster."
- State bio no longer says "Canada took a shit here."
- Players allowed to distribute malt liquor and rent vouchers to crowd as a special promotion in Franchise Mode.
- Added "AND ALBERT PUJOLS" to graffiti on side of stadium saying "Fuck the auto industry."
