Mein Deutsch ist schrecklich so bitte entschuldigt mich! Ich habe es vor vielen Jahren genommen aber mein Lehrer war ein Nazi und hat mich durchgefallen. Für das Vaterland!

I Gained Faith in Humanity

A special thanks to forum goon and FYAD'er Humanity who did the Steve Perry artwork for today. He took my concept art, and really brought it to life. I bought him a case of beer but couldn't figure out how to send it through the Internet so I drank the entire thing. I'm so drunk at the current moment.

I Lost Faith in Myself

I was kinda bored a couple days ago and after POWER MASTER posted "I hurt my elf today" in the forums I had an idea and wrote this in about five minutes. Its terrible and since I hate you guys I'm posting it here. Enjoy.

I hurt my elf today
to see if I still heal
I focus on the spell
the only dwarf thats real
the longsword tears a hole
an old, familiar king
I teleported somewhere else
you are still right here
what level have I become?
My sweetest elf
every player I know
logs off in the end
You could have it all
My gold coins and lewt
I will cast a fireball
I will make you soot

– Reid "Frolixo" Paskiewicz

More Daily Dirt

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Meditations from a Movable Weiner

    Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.

  • BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    BarkWire.com Dog Reviews: The Barquis de Sade & Cleaver

    Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.