Today's article is a long-in-the-works collaboration between Josh and me. We've been putting off writing this thing for months, because we are lazy and misanthropic, but the fruits of our labor are now here for you to devour like the animals that you are.
While writing this was a breeze since Josh is a fine comedic foil, I can't take credit for the actual WORK involved in this article, which was making it look like real newspaper clippings. I've got to hand it to Mr. "Livestock" Boruff for doing a bang-up job and making everything look great, because that sort of thing is wholly beyond my means.
Didn't like this update? Tough luck, there's going to be more tomorrow! Who knows where the thrilling tales of senior grudges will take you.
Honestly, though, I think the best part of this was finding pictures of old men. I apologize to whoever's grandpa the old man next to my columns is, because I have surely tarnished his pride or, God forbid, shamed his memory. Here is us talking about my old man photo:
Livestock: Yours looks like he was shown something amusing that he didn't understand, so he smiled politely.
DannyManic: Sort of like people will do when they see our article.
Livestock: Yes exactly
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!