Today's update was a sloppily formatted mess which may or may not have been funny. Looking back on it, it has a lot of Amber Alert overtones. My bad.
I thought Prussian Blue would be the perfect topic for a frontpage update, because they're terrifying and absurd. I underestimated how hard it would be to make something that's already absurd funny. Again, the formatting is really a huge mess and I'm sorry if I damaged your eyes. I'm the worst. If you want more information on the horror that is Prussian Blue, here are a few links.
Transgressive author Chuck Palahniuk is here to help with tips and tricks to hacking your life.
Not what I had in mind when I ordered an Italian gondolier. This is literally just a tiny toy. Needless to say, the Italian businessmen were not impressed and I looked like a damn fool. We lost the pizza pie account and will have to lay off half our factory.
Time to applaud the man who applauds in a loop until the end of time.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!