Today's update was a sloppily formatted mess which may or may not have been funny. Looking back on it, it has a lot of Amber Alert overtones. My bad.
I thought Prussian Blue would be the perfect topic for a frontpage update, because they're terrifying and absurd. I underestimated how hard it would be to make something that's already absurd funny. Again, the formatting is really a huge mess and I'm sorry if I damaged your eyes. I'm the worst. If you want more information on the horror that is Prussian Blue, here are a few links.
Star Wars fan speculation has been swirling about the source of female ejaculation. The answers might finally be coming with the Last Jedi.
Lean in close to your screen. Inhale deeply. Does this guide give off a cloyingly sour odor? Then it is likely the genuine article.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!