Today's update was a sloppily formatted mess which may or may not have been funny. Looking back on it, it has a lot of Amber Alert overtones. My bad.
I thought Prussian Blue would be the perfect topic for a frontpage update, because they're terrifying and absurd. I underestimated how hard it would be to make something that's already absurd funny. Again, the formatting is really a huge mess and I'm sorry if I damaged your eyes. I'm the worst. If you want more information on the horror that is Prussian Blue, here are a few links.
Ferguson's long arm of the law laments the latest cutback.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
The Daily Dirt serves as a column for all Something Awful frontpage writers to write about, well, whatever they feel like putting into the Daily Dirt!